Wineskins 101.
What of guidance and angels and reassurance from energies beyond what we perceive? I can't speak for others, but there are few things more vivid and real to me in my life than this encounter; such was the depth of feeling. Since that date so long ago I have opened my mind to phenomena. An experience like that will do that.
To be honest, I cannot recall if this happened before my emergence or after. I suspect it was before and this was actually a part of that experience. I sometimes think that I died that night and certainly from my personal perspective in living in my skin all these years hence, I would say something of that is true. I was given another chance if I let go of how I thought life had to be. I did and in doing so I would no longer enjoy the bliss of a myopic and three dimensional life. I would also never again ignorantly believe that I walk this world alone where I wasn't monitored and guided on a kind of karmic, benevolent parole. I am never alone and I am better for the company.
It doesn't matter to me now that I don't recall exactly what Bill told me either, oddly enough. I suspect this is because it really doesn't matter that my mind remembers; my heart does. I recall how it felt to be sitting there with him feeling such a presence of peace and I trust this feeling. It is what guides me. That I held this experience as sacred was all that was necessary, it seems. I was reassured at a time I hadn't any idea what that even meant. To be able to receive and feel love as I did that night just by being alive is a great gift. I was resurrected from a galvanized way of being that could not evolve. I think maybe love is what brings us as close as possible to the celestial when we are embodied and I'm wondering if there is a special alchemy to our being human and fixed into this reality, something that is not available to those beyond.
I don't have any answers. On the best days, I'm not plagued with questions either. I only have wonder and appreciation.
Different Ways, Chapter 12 , The Sky Is Falling , pp. 85-86 .
Music: This amazing song captured me the first time I heard it by its tune and melody. I had no idea what he was singing about but the appeal in the song felt like a prayer. The title "Claim Your Ghost" suggested I use it here but since I have posted it, I've come to understand better what caught my ear that I needed to hear within it. I'm learning to "know the wine for what it is" and how this applies to my life. Now I love this song even more for its redemptive quality.
Our winter keeps running us down
We wake up with love hanging on
Killers let go, killers let go
Some kids get handful of rain
Our hope is the desperate die wise
Killers let go, killers let go
Morning falls from a tree and asks for a name
Claim your ghost, know the wine for what it is
The garden grows into our street
We're holding the blossoms up high
Killers let go, killers let go
Claim your ghost, know the wine for what it is
There's light holding onto the ground
Our music is clumsy and free
Killers let go, killers let go
Killers let go, our killers let go
Our killers let go, killers let go
Our killers let go, killers let go
Claim Your Ghost, Iron & Wine
Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at AlltheDifferentWays.com. There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing.
The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.