• Cile

Lilith and the Nature of Negative Space, Part One


Berthold Woltze, The Irritating Gentleman, 1874


Different Ways #07 Lilith and the Nature of Negative Space, Part One


There was a trend back in the 1960's, when women were being coached in psychological circles...actually, there were many trends then. This particular one orbited around new ways of thinking about relationships with men and how women might consider their sexual independence. It was warned "Do NOT imagine a Prince Charming" or some ideal man to conjure up from one's imagination. It was called the Cinderella Complex, I believe. I was clear on that but, at the time, I had no idea that there was male energy within me. The train stopped there for a long while but it wasn't my stop. I had a ways to go with this conundrum yet.


Eventually my culture ran me head long into the Adam and Eve story and I had done a little looking into this Lilith as Adam's first wife with curiosity. In time, being clearly CIS, yet not having any rules about gender regarding whoever I was intimate with, I realized that there was indeed a male energy within me and it did, indeed, manifest in the people I was attracted to. But, I noticed, it also externalized from within me, when allowed. Not in the Cinderella way as to be rescued/surrender but in the balanced way to live and move through the world sustainably. I'm not saying matriarchy or patriarchy...been there; done that. To learn anything from these polarities we have already lived we need only look around to see how that has played out. I'm suggesting that we are heading into a new empowerment that is inclusive, born and cultivated from within beyond gender; conceived by choice.


My energy, over the years settled into a Lilith archetype and I was gifted a vexing energy and a natural grief of sorts. As far as relationships, within the construct of the modern world Lilith draws either the Old Maid card or she canoodles with monsters or milquetoasts. There has not been a whole lot to choose from for intimacy and development of one's inner gender balance with such noncompliant and uninterested resources. Such are these contentious times of deep change. Things are getting better as younger people are intuitively choosing to leave off what have been accepted male tropes. We are trying to make room for just this kind of change by loosening our grip on disrespecting that which is deemed feminine.


The decades have passed for me, I've grown well beyond the seduction years and into the empowered ones. My expedition is finally pulling into a terrain I recognize here.


Thank you for listening.




Different Ways, Chapter 26, pp 206-211


Music: Is there anyone more engagingly androgynous and Lilith-like than the amazing Annie Lennox? Only a few. She's a gift and the power of her songs stand strong to this day. In this song, we can't know how she feels. We must know how we feel, first. This is the invitation. The female energy is the energy of the body and it's a corporeal language. Our feminine energy must be free to express how it feels. The feminine must be seen, heard and recognized within us. We must be free for it to be authentically represented.


"...This is the book I never read

These are the words I never said

This is the path I'll never tread

These are the dreams I'll dream instead

This is the joy that's seldom spread

These are the tears…

The tears we shed

This is the fear

This is the dread

These are the contents of my head

And these are the years that we have spent

And this is what they represent

And this is how I feel

Do you know how I feel?

'Cause I don't think you know how I feel

I don't think you know what I feel

I don't think you know what I feel

You don't know what I feel ..."


Why, Annie Lennox



Annie Lennox is doing amazing philanthropic work these days. Check it out


Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at AlltheDifferentWays.com. There is also an eBook version available at Amazon.


The blogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here on the post, Between the Lines.

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