• Cile

What to Do While Waiting....




It has been a long time since I’ve written in this blog. I have been pondering this last six months on what I might like to do next to utilize and enjoy my time. I thought a few months ago that I knew but then my enthusiasm slipped away…not far, but away. In the meantime, I’ve been staying open to whatever might inspire or spark…so I wait at the ready.


I do not ken to idle fancies. Amusements are no longer how I get my kicks. There has to be a kind of “sense” to me regarding what I’m interested in. Usually there is something that mystifies me or an idea that resonates with me to explore or a guidance. If it serves a higher purpose than my own greater understanding, then all the better. You won’t find me at Disneyland, Coachella, or on a cruise ship destined for sunnier shores, unless I am pressed overwhelmingly by my intuition to attend. As a trend, I’ve already had and enjoyed that time of my life.


Now, there is not much that makes me happier in this life than feeling my heart expand and open to love and abundance through being able to re-frame a perception and have it expand into a greater understanding. Feeling scarcity and hate calve from my consciousness transforming into its next form to make room for something more fulfilling in my life…this is my solace.


This abundance of curiosity leaves me open to find surprises that I feel I am meant to find. This happened the other night when, disappointed, I realized that I could not watch the critically acclaimed, “My Octopus Teacher”. I do not have the proper subscription to view it. I was intuitively guided to another film and settled in to be wildly surprised by the depth of story and the acting in the film “The Bookshop”.


It turns out that this story written in 1978 by Penelope Fitzgerald and adapted for film by the director Isabel Coixet is a brilliantly acted example of how the feminine is currently present in a world that is framed and habituated to overpower all it desires to subjugate. One begins watching and thinks they are looking at a vulnerable individual. A woman awkwardly placed in a social situation. She is taking it all in yet not inclined into acting outside of herself as someone who could fit in. She is unabashedly herself with all her open hearted inquiry. I felt myself completely believing and wanting to know this character. She resonated within me.


As the film unfolds we see the characters expose themselves; some as allies, some as advisories. True to real life, these characters are not static in their loyalty yet are not overtly betraying either. What is the critical unfolding here is how easily most people are swayed by influence and are rarely dependable when their own self interests are challenged. Consequently, what is revealed is how rare it is to find people in one’s life who are truly willing to go the distance or even stand their ground when an honorable choice is needed. In this way this story is a parable and provides a deep learning. I can’t recall when I last saw this lesson so clearly defined in a narrative.


I haven’t read the original book this film is based upon so I don’t know how something written in 1978 could be this progressive and thought provoking regarding existing social constructs in 2017. I don’t know how it might have been manipulated in the screen play. There is a timing for everything. It does, however, brilliantly eviscerate what is a basic social construct to reveal its most sickening and totally accepted norms in society and government. There is no ability at all in the design of a modern community to accommodate what the protagonist in this story proposes in her situation: reception, respect and an invitation to be original.


The seeming conflict between courage and vulnerability has been an issue and interest in my life. The construct of male courage has not been the whole story for me. A woman - or the feminine part of any gender - exhibits courage differently than the masculine part. It is the feminine that I am always seeking to flesh out. I’m quite done with how the male energy manifests in the world and defines courage. The male version is not the full story on a human being’s capacity to be courageous; it is not how an open heart abides and moves through the world compassionately. We need this feminine courage now to balance and heal these seriously imbalanced power dynamics in the world.


This story does not end as one would want in a fantasy but it ends as it would in reality. It always will until we learn the lessons that it so beautifully portrays. Watch this movie, if you find yourself waiting. We can realize when we are being asked to step up and do the right thing when our inner female courage is ignited. Let’s allow it to propel us into peace. We can do better and be phenomenal human beings.






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