All in All is All We Are

Diagnosed Mortal #2

This post is concerned with stuff...What is to be done with it after we die? Millions of people are confronting this dilemma with the death of their parents and elder relatives...this is where death get its vindication because why would someone collect so much stuff in the first place if they were truly aware of their mortality and the temporary nature of their stay? We are just visitors here. Why are we filling up our earthly motel rooms with the illusion that we are here forever? ...and treating our sacred vessels, our bodies, like we intend to die in our sleep tonight? ...I'm looking at you vat of ice cream...

Deathy Tip: I think sharing a bit of practical information on this subject is in order. If you need it, you will find a tremendous amount of valuable help on the internet as people have learned a thing or two about how to navigate this subject, being children of a culture of collectors who have moved on. We are lucky they have shared this knowledge with us. Search ‘navigating deceased’s possessions’, for instance. You will find practical tips, wisdom and tools there….Also, there is one thing you can do for the person who is left behind from your great adventure in transformation. Give them permission to throw out the things. It is the feeling that the spirit of the deceased is wrapped into these items that can make throwing them out so painful. Assure your loved ones that it is okay to let them go. It may seem like a silly thing to say but grief does a number on people and in this way, one can give a little preventative medicine to take some of the sting out of the ordeal. It also leaves a little room for the bereaved to enlist the help of a close friend to do some of the small random discards…the razors, toiletries, the lipsticks…the medications, the sex toys…well, maybe not the sex toys (that is another level of leaving to be dealt with sometimes…).

I hope you see my point in death being a rather large part of what is omitted in our conversations and lifestyles regarding reality. It is death that tempers a superficial life. It is death that suggests that we try a little harder for the feels; develop discipline and discernment; reach a little deeper than the pocketbook and leaving an empty legacy in our wake. Death wants us to remember and fulfill our intention in being alive. While there are as many different intentions for living as there are people in this world, at some juncture, the spirit of humanity meets and melds into a natural force for growth and fruitful abundance. We are all in love here in the all...and here is where death keeps the gates.

In closing, love is less likely to be acknowledged and enjoyed when a person's life is buried in all manner of stuff because stuff negates the ability to feel every moment as it is presented. Everything we own has a need for our attention and our care is wrapped up in it. That is the arrangement with stuff....It must constantly be thought about and decided upon...it must be washed, dusted, counted, fluffed, plumped, fiddled with, dumped, replaced, repaired, recycled, and stored...for starters. That is a fuckton of focus that separates us from tending to the pleasures that can deliver a deeper satisfaction at any given moment! Making sure what we leave is a feeling in the hearts of those we love and less of the busy-ness of stuff is a sound priority. Everyone will be better off.

We make our choices as we live with our apologies as we go. Our offspring and friends will acquiesce and box up our more impulsive choices and carry them to Goodwill after we have sloughed off our mortal coil. We’re sorry and don’t know why because…death wasn’t part of the decision making process. We might consider doing what we can to let our loved ones do this cleaning up after us with their hearts full of how we feel about them…not the stuff.

This short essay was written January 1, 2017 Number 2 in a series of 20 pieces written on death and dying called Diagnosed Mortal

Musical selection: I chose All Apologies by Nirvana because it speaks to me, saying that for all of our not wanting to admit to regrets in life, we need to understand that, as humans, we are supposed to be a mess and make poor choices. Most of us will leave a mess, too.

"...What else should I write?

I don't have the right

What else should I be?

All apologies..."

Kurt in his impossible cardigan, making sure we have more than a sweater to remember him by, explains the stuff of relationships....