Sometimes belonging is part of the plan; sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is necessary to be outside of the fold and there can be a myriad of reasons for that. For me, the lesson was to find the strength to be independent and honor my intuition and spirit; to be intentional without expecting validation. One would always want validation. It is part of the human experience to have that. Being seen and recognized is as necessary as food and water for human beings. I know about belonging from other lives lived and witnessed. I sometimes think that it is just this incisive recall of the comfort of being so close to someone that can torment me from time to time in this life. The human hunger to see and experience love in the flesh and in this dimension by being resplendent while, often, fucking up, falling, spilling, aging, being sick and damaged beyond repair is what life is really about. These disruptions - this Kyrptonite - allows humanity to develop; it invites the feminine to balance us all from within so we know what to do and how to be more balanced and heart-centric. I'm learning this resplendence.
My life - at this time - is the perfect time, however, to learn what it is to be outside of the norm and solitary. This is the life to find the courage to express how I feel about things and live beyond the punitive; to say what I think and not worry about being judged or condemned. It cannot matter to my core that anyone disagrees or that it is or isn't a perfect offering. I needed to find a way to escort myself to the essence of myself. It is personal. I turned myself inside out because I needed to know what slept beneath the obvious. I'm not justifying this long strange isolation or excuse the public display of things that are left, for most, private, I'm just saying it is my time for this. I signed up and I'm wired for it astrologically to have everything I need, if not necessarily what I want. I've aged into my life and I'm thankful beyond measure.
Thank you for listening.
Different Ways: Belonging, Excerpts from Different Ways, Chapter 24, pp. 175-180
Music: The struggle is real...a slave to money then we die...Love bless us all in these times of building a better understanding and moving forward with the knowledge we have attained. You may be familiar with this song, but I would encourage you to watch this video. It is a moving performance and an epic glimpse of a gathering of souls willing the world into a better, more loving place. Note how many hearts are focused and intent on each individual interpretation of love in this video. This is the face of the resistance to conquest and domination. I find a comfort in that. I hope you do, too. It is the best heart inspired intentions within us all individually that will save the day.
You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
From one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve
Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at AlltheDifferentWays.com. There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing in the E-Book.
The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.