Different Ways #05 Life in Negative Space, Part Three
When a mind goes a wandering...
Shame and making mistakes are two of the hardest things for me to accept and live through when trying new ways of being in the world and falling short. It requires either an immense amount of moxy and innocence or tremendous confidence and courage. My life at this juncture in chapter 25 falls into the former category. In this case, I land pretty hard in a supermarket. Spill on aisle five....
Sometimes I design things for myself and I simply make mistakes. I fall down and I have to get back up and deal with the embarrassment. Nothing illustrates this as profoundly as this part of chapter 25. In looking back at this incident after getting a few psychic classes under my belt, it is easier to see where I made my error in failing to hold space as I intended.
The thing about trying to do things differently is one has to be honest. I mean REALLY honest about things or they DO blow up in one's face like a trick cigar. I let loneliness get the upper hand. I wasn't being honest about my feelings towards this person and I thought I could "get away with" turning my entire original intention on its ear. I wouldn't have done it if I really thought I could call anything to me or away from me or any of that! I wanted to believe it could happen (as energy moves with prayer) but not from the center of my mundane unconscious. I did not actually believe I could energetically drive my life in this dimension this way. But recess was over and I needed to own up to not acting appropriately. I called my inner male energy out unconsciously by trolling this man on the internet and waxing poetic on Facebook and I ended up where I did. Lesson learned.
Thoughts with strong emotions have life and power and if we don't take responsibility for them they can manifest in this dimension in an unintended fashion. I will always fall short and be surprised by occurrences but I will try and stay in my own lane from here on out regarding my desires. I did not in this case and there was an intervention required to avoid a consequence.
Thank you for listening.
Different Ways, Chapter 25, pp.0192-197
Music: The most obvious hook here for me is the grocery basket. It got my attention. When I first saw this video I was upset because I was realizing how real my struggle with my inner male part actually is. It is reflective of a collective struggle, in truth. I'm having a relationship with parts of myself that are within me and do not exist in this dimension. Music encompasses a multiverse and flows easily in all the ways there is to be alive on the earth. This song and the dance in this video helped me understand and recognize my dilemma better.
Thank you for joining me in this. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at AlltheDifferentWays.com. There is also an eBook version available at Amazon.
The blogpost that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here on the post, Between the Lines.