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  • Writer's pictureCile

Running Out of Sand, Part Two

Updated: Feb 5, 2022

The scope of a life doesn't even show up to be welcomed and appreciated until a person logs in some age. The inherent vibrations of one's name is to many a trivial matter. Not to me. Nor is it inconsequential to me to leave off a life intention. It doesn't much matter if others don't get my name right anymore but I must get who I am and who I am is encoded in my name and naming process.

They call me 'hell'

They call me 'Stacey'

They call me 'her'

They call me 'Jane'

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

They call me 'quiet'

But I'm a riot


Always the same

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not my name

That's not My Name by the Ting-Tings

Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine, Running Out of Sand, Part Two, Excerpts Chapter 18, pp. 133-136, 136-137

We have so much history to learn from and change for the better. This is the Dionne quintuplets compound where the children lived and were on display for 18 years. It was a zoo and a popular tourist attraction for the new, burgeoning "car culture" merging with the new television media sensation of "lifestyle reporting". This was the traffic jam the Dionne quintuplets were thrown under. Their being caged was what resonated so deeply with me as caging is such a strong and deeply resonating image for me. They had never even handled money or had gone into a shop before they went to college. They also never saw the millions of dollars that was made from their being on display their entire lives. The remaining quints, Cecile and Annette, are now 87. They live in Montreal in poverty. So much for being the national treasure. Their lives hold up a mirror to show us what we choose for amusements and how we are not living in a vacuum. Someone, whether it is a kid in sweat shop in Thailand or some exploited child prodigy, is holding up a weight they shouldn't have to so we can be amused...we could stand to learn some respect.

Music: I named this chapter in my book after this song. This video is an excerpt from Twin Peaks - The Return, Season 3, Part 16 with Edward Louis Severson III singing. I'm a huge fan of Twin Peaks for the multi layered storytelling that strikes me as so much closer to my personal experience of life. Linear scripts are created and popular and they have their place but no one seems to be able the unravel the scope of a mystery quite as bravely as David Lynch. I like the work of people who are not afraid of the powerful stories that live outside of established boundaries. I like this part of myself. It is rarely celebrated so well. That is why this video is in this BlogCast. It is homage to two brilliant creators David Lynch and Eddie Vedder who I think also also cultivates courage.

Fine at dinner, dead by dessert

Victim or witness, we're gonna get hurt

A fragile existence with echoes of wrath

I can't stop the bleeding nor the tears from thine eye

There's another us around somewhere with much better lives

With God as our witness but he won't testify...

Out of Sand by Eddy Vedder

Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing.

The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.


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