I always seem to get much of what I want when I want the things that won't pull me all the way under by preying on my more fragile nature. I enjoy a flare for drama and the energetics support this in me by complying. It's a dance. Many times my getting what I want has proven to be a sort of beautiful disaster by some standards. I've always tried to be thankful, even for the nasty bits for the lessons they have delivered. Most things in life, though, are just not that black and white or straight forward because complex relationships of human beings are involved. If these issues were logical, we would all be less confused, I suspect. There were good things intermingled with the rough parts for everyone involved in my work life. We got the job done as requested; we all showed up and rattled through with what we thought, at the time, best. On some level, to quote Ram Dass, at the end of the day, "We’re all just walking each other home".
Thank you for listening.
Different Ways: Sixteen Tons, Part Tow, Excerpts Chapter 23, pp. 170-174.
Music: This is my song that represents my relationship to breaking up with work-life America. I was thoroughly embedded in a dysfunctional relationship with this way of living and my expectations of peace and success within it. While I deeply appreciate all of the opportunities I've had in my life, I do wish I had the confidence and got the message sooner about alternative ways to be in the world other than constantly seeking "the good job", however. I know that for me it had to take this long and that all things have happened by design but I need to state here that it is true that I was afraid to step out and admit my disappointment. I courted fear in this way. Fear thrives on a shame and failure dialogue in a person's mind. It always strives to constrict ideas and feelings; it kills all kinds of ways to manifest new opportunities. I had to be kicked out of my job, I was so embedded in it! I look forward to the disruption and evolution of this system of consumption and trade so a new way of commerce can emerge for my grandchildren.
Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at AlltheDifferentWays.com. There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing in the E-Book.
The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.