Don’t Be Late
Updated: Nov 26, 2021
Diagnosed Mortal #19
In this post I reflect on an important turning point in my life. Like a soldier's war story.... I was called up at age 50 and I answered.
Astrology has taught me, long after the fact, that I was moved by celestial forces in this story. At around fifty years of age the asteroid Chiron passes over the exact spot it was stationed at a person's birth. The understanding of what Chiron represents lays down a bit of a navigational clue as to how a person would answer to their midlife. (I'll put a link to a deeper dive into the astrology below, if you are interested.) For me, I was guided to Whole Wheat Radio online to chose something. I could have passed. I definitely thought of passing because of the unhappiness and chaos in my personal history around radio and what hid within it that I wasn't sure I wanted to see. The celestial forces, however, also made me the kind of person who has a hard time declining an adventure (which got me into some of the finest mischief of my life, I might add) by bestowing me with a Sagittarius rising. So, with caution, I proceeded with the invitation that stumbling onto the web site offered.
Chiron is a centaur, half man, half horse. He is referred to as The Wounded Healer. He healed and taught others but could not heal himself, so the story goes. There are many different definitions of wounded healer. I have my own which I have slapped together, as I do, without the necessary peer review on the matter (...so keep this in mind). My Chiron asked me if I would want to continue on in my life as I had or take on the mantle of empowering myself by healing my own un-healable wound. That which I call inherited trauma or that which one is born into...either way, it is a festering gift that influences everything in a person's life.
Chiron, the legend says, was mortally wounded and the only relief he could receive from this fatal, painful affliction was to help others with their wounding. Being only half immortal and able to feel pain, Chiron made a bargain with Zeus to exchange his life for the life of Prometheus, who had been chained to a rock and left to die painfully over and over again for eternity. "No use two beings suffering like that", thought Chiron. He freed Prometheus taking his place and that benevolent choice to help another freed Chiron to be released from his former painful existence. For this benevolence the gods freed him to transform into a full, pain free immortal. So, dead to his former self and transformed into a morality tale.
When I first heard this story, I thought of alcoholics anonymous model of healing which depends upon the recovering person mentoring another recovering person. The mentor receives the satisfaction of helping someone which is deeply validating and transformative to their own healing. It can be a spiritual experience to help others in this way.
In my case, I chose to try and do the best I could to heal what seemed to stand in the way of my being all that I could be in my life. I was rewarded, as it turned out, and I came out the other side of that experience empowered with a sense of engagement in the world that I had not known before. Prior to that experience, I sincerely did not feel that my life had any kind of real value. By real value, I mean, a value that anyone outside of me would recognize. So being valued by others was a game changer for me. My trip to Talkeetna and receiving a warm reception was validation for my existence, in truth, though it was wrapped up in all kinds of social bells and whistles. Still, I was deeply aware of what a game changer it was. I felt it throughout my entire being.
Music: When I lived in Arizona, I danced with a West African dance troupe. Our teacher would assign us each a drum beat with the talking drums to call us forward to dance. In their culture, the drums and the dance movements were a sound and a sign language that was as clear a communication as any sign language for the deaf that we are accustomed to in this land. Though I was never conscious of it, I just knew when I was called forth to dance by the drum calling my name. It was this same sort of spidey-sense that would become activated when I heard this particular rendition of Angelique Kidjo's Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) on WWR. It resonates deep within me still.
It is a phenomenal thing to be in love with life and knowing everything within the cycle happens in its due time...and for once, at least, to know one is right on time.
More on the 50 year cycle of Chiron in astrology HERE.
How to find out your horoscope and where your Chiron is, HERE.
Jim maintains recordings of old WWR radio show's from the early days HERE, if you'd like to check it out.
~For the curious: this Blogpost explains my motivation and intention for this series of 20 essays in the Diagnosed Mortal series~