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  • Writer's pictureCile

Running Out of Sand, Part One

Updated: Feb 3, 2022

"Spiderwoman" Painting by Frank James Arenal

Pick a fear, any fear. Sometimes finding the self involves recognizing the fire, walking through the flames and owning it to retrieve the self.

Spiritual networking is what happens when one opens to allowing a life to reveal itself on its own terms. Like a spiderweb, all the connections are made in a natural scope of the weaving in time and space. The situation with my anger, confusion and frustration forced me into surrendering and being caught in the web of my own making. The trajectory of my healing was growing and forming beyond the peripheries of my conscious life experience and, when it was time, I walked right through the door to find I was playing a part of a much larger story. Even the above painting, Spiderwoman, who represents the weaving of all life events, came to me by being left on my porch by a neighbor who knew I fancied it when I lived in the desert; even this is part of the design. Because it was a gift. That is what gifts are...things that arrive in surprise. The painting, like the one on the cover of the book, were gifts and they hold a guidance over my process by reminding me that there are no accidents.

Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine, Running Out of Sand, Excerpts Chapter 18, pp. 126-129

Music: I was led to this song and I chose it in this manner. That is, I found it and set it aside a long time ago to find it again for this post .

...Like a bead inside a barrel I'll be burned before I'm free

Like a universal soldier I'm my own worst enemy

And I have tamed the tide of failure,

I have turned the looking glass

I have harvested the future and I've paralyzed the past

And with one eye closed I'm folding to a recent memory

When that universal soldier meant everything to me...

Blackbird on Fire by Amelia Curran

Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing.

The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.


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