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The Beehive, Part One

Towards a Poor Theatre by Jerzy Grotowski

Pulling lives through the eye of a needle. I don't believe life was meant to be punitive. That is, I don't believe courting and maintaining a mantle of shame is required in any life to make us better human beings. Not anymore. That includes laying blame on others even when they are clearly out of line in their actions. If there is a battle to be fought then, by all means, one should stand their ground. When an event is displaced in time, however, there needs to be another lens - a wider one - to use to provide a portal for the healing that needs to happen. It is clear to me that on some level; one we do not understand as well as I wish we could, we are all working towards the same end. We intend on bringing love into the world, then we forget. We are sunk into our cups and forgetting our higher intentions all the time and bad things happen to bleed into a larger plan effecting everyone. Hence the larger lens is needed to include a benevolence for the statement, "that was how it was done then. We did not know" allow for the space of grace to exist.

The longer I live the more I'm convinced that we narrate our lives in a manner that is based on a history that is like of a game of telephone. While the original message was clear enough and meaningful, it has wound down and lost the light it was meant to give off to help us. We live, however, by what what we were told; we live by rote mostly. We live without questioning as much as we could. There is a place all humanity meets and merges that requires a revision for us all to evolve. Here blaming is a waste of time and energy. Healing is not about a punishment, it is about transformation and a personal empowerment that empowers everyone involved; not just one or the other. It is about love.

Accuse me as you will of being easily led but I come by it honestly. Speaking solely for myself, I experience the events in my life to been of a design. I have been roughed up but I was never wired to be simply a victim nor was I inclined to be an abuser in vengeance. The subject of healing trauma has been mine from an early age whether I was consciously aware of it or willing or not. I've been given a lot of spiritual medicine and assistance for these experiences and I finally surrendered to it. This is good news. I was led into my brush with Jerzy Grotowski's lessons in negative movement and my connecting to the empowerment of my body as it struggled underneath the shackles of my mind. My mind may jump through a thousand and one hoops to avoid the truth but my body - my heart - once empowered, would always lead me to what I need to know and do. My body is always aligned with the stars and my wiring no matter if my mind is tracking it or not.

As for me or my ideas or my experience, being received or rejected, acceptance is not paramount to me. What matters to me is that I choose kindness and I find a way to stay present in my autonomy, stand by my intuition, and honor what my body informs me of. Transforming energetic disease. This is my way-going.

This audio file is the story of how that began with a suppressed trauma that carried me into a new awareness about the evolution of human consciousness and the ways a body can heal.

Thank you for listening.

Warning: This audio file describes an assault.

Different Ways: The Beehive, Part One, Excerpts Chapter 1, pp. 11-17

Music: This song is kind of self explanatory. There is power to destroy and conquer and there is power to build and construct. We are, each of us, going to have to choose every day.


Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member. Don't buy it. Parts are missing.

The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.


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