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Updated: Jan 9, 2022

Photo by Larry Mars

Different Ways #30, Chapter 8, Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

..."my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets and

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test..."

Changes, David Bowie

Free range adolescence. It was all about the parties and the scene. I had enough rope to descend into the depths and I did so.

Astrological Addendum{ Regarding "the depths":

Venus, (representing values, relationships, heart centered connections in daily interactions, feminine, belonging, receiving) has an interesting trajectory through everyone's life. The feminine pattern for us all is this: Venus is at a certain point in our natal chart when we are born and throughout our life Venus cycles every 8 years over this very spot in a pattern outlining a star and rose (depending on your perspective):

More here about this.

As Venus travels, it converses with the other planets in our charts in a continuing conversation cycling throughout our life. Whether we are aware or not; shit happens in our lives around the subjects listed above in these conversations. This is one thing that happens with the parts of us that is Venus.

Another thing that happens in the orbiting Venus is described in the mythology of Persephone who is abducted (as in, something happens beyond a person's control) and, like Venus as an evening star, the person travels a descent into a darkness (or our fear and sorrow). Venus must descend past 8 gates giving up something at each gate until they've reached Hades/Pluto where they transform (Pluto/ winter solstice) themselves and return ascending through each of the 8 gates making a new choice as they rise back up to the surface of life with their Venus renewed and ready to identify truth and beauty as a new level of the love experience (summer solstice).

Pluto: representing power, control, addictions, sex, what is hidden from the surface of life, death/transformation, karma, taxes and what taxes pay for - war and social programs. Pluto deals all the time with what the mass of humanity doesn't want to be bothered with. Things like governments and corporal punishment, war or helping other people and the truth of what our motivations are and where we are stuck in some kind of destructive patterning; energies of such a low vibration that love cannot reside there. Pluto deals with human's shit, the refuse, and the compost, to recycle it transformed. Pluto gets a bad rap, mostly because these changes do not come about without losing something we currently value that, frankly, sucks for our collective and/or evolutionary greater good.

"...And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins—and the wine is destroyed, and so are the skins. But new wine is for fresh wineskins."

Matthew 2:22

So here's the deal right now in the depths of winter 2021/22. My Venus is lowering down into the depths of what has been for me consistently a very important issue in my life. When I was born, my Venus is fixed into position next to Pluto. This translates to my being hardwired into these issues that these two planets represent. Just so there is no wiggling out of this, the life long conversation takes place in my evolutionary 8th house which is dominated by all things Plutonian. I'm a feminine cohabitant with Pluto in their masculine dominant house that is configured for them. So in a way I'm gifted as a female human with the responsibility to find a way to transform in some small Venusian way the misunderstandings of sexual power, conquest, predation and the knotted male energies that have become an accepted illness in the world and do it while residing with the Prince of Darkness. I've grown to love my inner Pluto even though they're a bastard to my bitch and so much is lost in translation. I do understand the point after this long, forced association, however.

I won't solve anything big. My life isn't about that. I'm given this ONE JOB and I'm finally on it. I'm down to it. Suffering and misunderstandings make me tired but I understand the nature of human beings and my needing to experience these things to move through them. This is one reason why I do not look at events of my life in anger, loss and resentment beyond the need to regain my personal power (which I was helped with in the 1980's). Indulging in hatred and blaming makes me veer from the point of my being able to work the energy in a healing, energetic way through alchemy. Honesty and authenticity streamline my work in the world.

This means I don't come to your door with a check from Publisher's Clearing house EVER. I'm the social worker who arrives with the police to help you after they tell you that your beloved is dead.

Few can get excited, cozy and be comfortable with a person with a natal Venus/Pluto conjunction like I have. I couldn't for near 60 years! Consequently, anything important I might have to say is not well received news even when I try to put it nicely. Intuitively, people pick up on this vibration in me and respond accordingly. It has been a long haul to recognize this value within me and I'm finally appreciating it. I understand it now. I'm an acquired taste.

This is how aging and astrology grounds me into a kind of loving belonging of the damned and a greater dispensation of life and purpose. I could belong to nothing until I learned to belong with this part of myself.

So for this recorded segment of time, I was a child in the thick of "my issues" along with the issues of the time. I was being shown the depths of these dark matters that I continued to transform as I grew into adulthood. I do this even now at this late date in my life.

Thank you for listening.

Different Ways, Chapter 8, Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes , pp. 64-72.

Music: This video of Sympathy for the Devil is perfection for what I want to say about the issues above. The song, of course, raged over the air waves as a number one hit at this time of my life. It was like it was trying to make me listen and better understand. All I could do then was dance to it. I can listen now with a heightened awareness and appreciation for the power and magic of creativity and music's ability to hold us all beyond time to report, support and guide us.

Thank you for joining me here. The memoir Different Ways: Revealing the Feminine can be purchased through my website using a link to Village Books at There will soon be an eBook version available with an independent retailer. The e-book on Amazon is a bit of a mess but free if you are a Kindle member.

The BlogCast that outlines my intentions for this series of readings from my book, Different Ways, Revealing the Feminine can be found here in the post, Between the Lines.


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